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Rickety cricket

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He is in every single episode that is shot in the bar, but he is noticed in the episode "Paddy's Pub: The Worst Bar in Philadelphia.

David Zdunich died in A portrait of Ernie David is hung behind the bar in memoriam. Gladys Mae Laborde is a senior citizen the gang calls upon who has a penchant for long rambling stories.

She played the piano during Charlie's play in the season 4 finale "The Nightman Cometh". Dennis pretends she is his grandmother to win back a former girlfriend in "The D.

She claims she was friends with Calvin Coolidge and that her grandmother was the lesbian lover of Susan B. Josh Groban himself is a famous singer. Dee and Artemis are huge Groban fans, calling themselves "Grobanites".

Dee's love of the singer leads her to self-tan and wear white shorts, explaining "Josh Groban likes his ladies to pop".

Dee and Artemis get backstage passes to a Groban show, but Dee is unable to attend because Frank had poisoned her and tied her up.

In the fantasy, Dee is a celebrity who achieves fame after entering witness protection through her portrayal of an English butler character, in an allusion to the s television series Mr.

She marries Groban, but their marriage lasts only 17 minutes with Dee divorcing Groban for Brad Pitt.

He first appeared in the season 1 finale "Charlie Got Molested" wherein Charlie's family gives him an intervention to get him to admit he had been molested by his elementary school teacher this belief was fostered by the scam the McPoyles were running to extort money from the school system.

Uncle Jack appears again in the season 5 episode "The Great Recession. Jack insists they share the room and spend time wrestling there.

In the season 6 episode "Dennis Gets Divorced," Charlie and Frank call in Jack, who is revealed to be a lawyer, to handle their divorce.

Later, Dennis and Mac use him to try to get their apartment back from Dennis' ex-wife, only to find that she hired The Lawyer.

Jack has a bizarre fixation on the size of his hands, constantly worrying that they may appear to be too small. It is heavily implied that Uncle Jack is a pedophile and wants to have sex with his nephew.

Charlie has mentioned how, as a child, he would stay awake at night because Uncle Jack would want to sleep in his bed.

Coincidentally, Charlie's lyrics to "Nightman" seem to revolve around a man sneaking into his room at night and raping him.

He returns in Season 5, eager to personally stop Frank—he represents a family that Frank is trying to force out of their house. After Charlie makes an attempt to prove that he's more legally apt than the actual lawyer, he challenges him to a duel; the lawyer immediately accepts, claiming to have a loaded gun in his office desk.

Home of the Original Kitten Mittens" when The Gang goes to him to get patents for products that they have created.

He later tricks them into signing a document that grants him all the profits from the products as well as imposing a restraining order on them.

In Season 11 he represents one of the McPoyles in a lawsuit against Bill Ponderosa over a bird attack that cost his client an eye, but in addition to being hit with nonsensical anti-Semitic baiting from Frank and Dee even though he's not Jewish , he ends up injuring one of his eyes in another bird attack that leads to Bill's acquittal.

Dennis convinces Dee to dump Kevin because he's retarded only for her to later discover he isn't. He later returns as one of Dee's baby's potential fathers in "Dee Gives Birth".

The Korean Busboy Maxie J. Dee sleeps with him to get information about their secret microbrew recipe.

He gives her a note written in Korean purportedly containing the recipe, but when the Gang has it translated it turns out to read "Bony American is dirty dirty whore.

She bring much shame to herself and country. Matthew Mara , better known as Rickety Cricket David Hornsby , is a Catholic priest who becomes defrocked , destitute , abducted , assaulted both physically and sexually , threatened , hunted , severely injured and addicted to cocaine all directly or indirectly resulting from the influence or action of Dee, Dennis, Charlie, Frank and Mac.

As a boy he suffered from a medical condition that required the use of very conspicuous complex leg braces which inspired the pejorative nickname "Rickety Cricket".

He first appears in "The Gang Exploits a Miracle" where it is revealed that he has continued to harbor a high school crush on Dee who at the time used an elaborate semi-permanent aluminum medical back brace.

He admits he was convinced to eat horse feces for a chance to kiss Dee, which she refused since, as she says, "his breath smelled like shit".

Mac and Dennis have been teabagging Cricket at every opportunity since high school. Dennis claims that he has a shoebox full of pictures of him and Mac doing this, and pictures are surfacing on the Internet.

One recurring theme in the series is Cricket's downward spiral; due to his involvement with the Gang he leaves the priesthood, supports himself by grifting or panhandling , becomes addicted to crack cocaine , has his legs broken by members of the Philadelphia Mafia , has his throat sliced by Frank in a wrestling match, is hunted by Mac and Dennis for sport, and suffers a gunshot wound in his hand when he is trespassing at Paddy's and Frank accidentally shoots him.

He is then left bleeding in the car by Frank and Dee while they go into a store full of hurricane-panicking people, and he ends up driving through the doors of the place and further injuring himself.

The wound to his throat wasn't fatal, but got badly infected, severely damaging his vocal chords and giving him a gravely voice. He has since carried a vendetta against The Gang and attempts to get his revenge in various episodes, but consistently fails to do so.

He shows up in "Mac's Big Break", when he appears on Dennis and Dee's inaugural podcast, remarking about his life as a homeless person - during this episode he reveals that he stopped believing in God since "a Chinaman stole my kidney ".

He also shows up in "Dee Gives Birth" because Frank was trying "to cast a wider net" in finding out the identity of Dee's baby's father and he considered Rickety Cricket to be "the wildcard".

He shows up at his high school reunion cleaned up, claiming to have returned to being a priest. However, he actually uses the opportunity to steal jewelry from the other alumni.

The other alumni mock him and physically eject him when it is discovered he has ring worms, but his rants about how Dee loved and left him leads the cool crowd to reject her.

In the season eight premiere, "Pop—Pop: The Final Solution", he is working at a local pound for community service. He has a new scar over his now-blind left eye, which he says was from a "skirmish" with a stray chocolate lab, in which he paralyzed the dog; later on he makes numerous references to raping and being raped by feral dogs.

He claims to be a dog executioner, but then admits he's a janitor. In Season 9, he suffers horrific facial burns when he's locked in Mac and Dennis's apartment during "The Gang Squashes Their Beefs" when a fire breaks out ironically, he was not even invited because the Gang didn't consider him someone they'd wronged , leaving the entire left side of his head covered in scar tissue.

In Season 10 when Charlie and Mac seek him out to help make their old friend Psycho Pete crazy and fun again, he is fully homeless and describes in disgusting detail the sex acts he must perform to earn money for alcohol and other drugs frequently remarking that it will cost a six pack of beer for him to perform oral sex.

Also from Season 10 onwards his crack-addicted life on the streets has resulted in him losing many of his teeth. After having half of his head nearly burned off, he also stops giving any thought whatsoever to his physical appearance, with long, filthy, matted hair and scraggly beard.

While he occasionally gives himself wipe-down showers in the bar's bathroom, he is almost always covered in an extensive coating of dirt and grime.

In Season 11's "Dee Made a Smut Film", Cricket says that a cat bit off one of his toes at some point, and describes in exacting detail how he was involved in a dog orgy almost bragging about it.

Cricket is given his own storyline in the Season 12 episode "A Crickets Tale". In the episode, his father finds him and gives him a chance to turn his life around and work at his company.

Cricket accepts the job offer and starts turning his life around and meets a woman he falls in love with. However, it turns out that Cricket was halluciating from PCP and that the woman is actually a dog.

Dejected, Cricket decides to turn back to his old lifestyle. In the episode, the gang casually mentions that they injected a GPS pet tracking chip into Cricket's body, without his knowledge.

Dee goes back to her high school to talk to Dr. He tells her that he was an alcoholic and that she must give up. He also reminds her of a musical she was in, Frankenstein.

Later he trips and gets injured as a result of Charlie becoming a member of the school's custodial staff and waxing Dr. He does not appear again in the series due to the injury.

Dee takes over as a substitute. He fires both of them in the next episode "Dee Reynolds: Shaping America's Youth" because Dee took her students on a field trip to Paddy's Pub to watch Mac and Dennis's Lethal Weapon 5 movie and because Charlie's mentoring of a student named Richie led to him dressing up in blackface after watching the movie.

The principal laments that he probably won't be employed at the school much longer, due to their shenanigans. Still Hot", where he is now the principal of a middle school.

It is revealed that because of tenure, he was reassigned instead of being terminated. They are introduced in "Charlie Got Molested" when they falsely accuse a former teacher of pedophilia.

Charlie and the gang foil their plan and turn them in to the police, which sparks the McPoyles' antipathy toward the Paddy's Pub gang. Their clan is built entirely from inbreeding and Liam and Ryan have an incestuous relationship with each other and their deaf-mute sister Margaret Thesy Surface.

As seen in "The Gang Gets Invincible", they have at least 14 other siblings and family members, who all sport the McPoyle unibrows , acne , and eczema.

The most notable relative is Doyle McPoyle Bob Rusch , an aspiring football player who lost his chance to play for the Philadelphia Eagles when a hallucinating Frank accidentally shot him in the leg.

Ryan seems to have an addiction to inhaling Pledge furniture cleaner, and all the McPoyles seem to exclusively drink milk and to prefer warm, clammy conditions, which explains their constant sweaty appearance.

During the wedding Liam loses his right eye in a riot triggered by Bill Ponderosa spiking the McPoyles' milk with bath salts.

Ryan and Liam later reappear in the episode "The Gang Squashes Their Beef" as part of an ensemble invited to Dennis and Mac's apartment to make amends for past transgressions.

During the episode Liam displays immense difficulty adapting to his disability, relying on Ryan for assistance in most situations, as well as wearing a flesh-colored eye-patch and later painting on an eye in the hopes of making his injury less visible.

As retribution for Liam's disfigurement the brothers demands a new eye from Dennis and Mac to no avail. As the episode ends Frank manages to set fire to Dennis and Mac's apartment.

The McPoyles along with the other guests are locked inside the burning apartment by the gang but seemingly escape unharmed. The McPoyle family return in the episode "McPoyle vs.

The Trial of the Century" pursuing legal action against Bill Ponderosa for spiking the milk at the wedding and the subsequent mutilation of Liam.

Though many members of the family are present at the trial including Margret McPoyle Liam and Ryan do not attend, as it transpires Liam contracted pink eye after pouring "healing milk" into his eye.

Dee would always build herself up and put Ingrid down. Ingrid grew up to be a rich and successful fashion designer. Dee, feeling threatened by Ingrid's success, tried to get the Gang's help in destroying Ingrid while Dennis tried to sell his dress design to her, even going so far as to wear it himself.

Ingrid later returns in the season 7 finale "The High School Reunion: The Gang Gets Revenge". Dennis and Dee found the best way to get rid of her is to pour salt on her.

She first appears when Frank goes to her father's funeral and attempts to pick up her mother Donna. Gail gives Frank her uncle by marriage a handjob under the table in front of her mother.

Dee later invites Gail to a Thanksgiving dinner to "squash their beefs". Gail is one of the many people the Gang leaves in a fire in Mac and Dennis's apartment at the Thanksgiving dinner.

Gail is next seen on the same flight as Dee, Artermis, the Waitress, Mrs. Mac and Bonnie Kelly who are trying to do a lady reboot of a previous episode where the gang tried to outdo Wade Boggs record of beers drunk on an airplane flight.

Mac is initially annoyed that Carmen had moved on to Nick instead of calling him after she had her penis removed.

Mac does not agree with gay marriage and quotes the Bible verse Romans 1: Nick later appears in "Dee Gives Birth" where it is revealed that Dee is a surrogate for the couple since Nick cannot have kids but Carmen had frozen her sperm before her operation.

He has put on a lot of weight since high school. Dee eventually becomes his mistress when Dee thinks he bought her a new car when in fact the car belongs to another of Bill's mistresses.

Bill returns to his wife. Bill later returns in "Dee Gives Birth" as one of Dee's potential baby's daddies. Bill reveals that he tells girls he's had a vasectomy so he doesn't have to use a condom.

He appears in the episode "The Maureen Ponderosa Wedding Massacre" where he spikes a punch bowl with bath salts and it is revealed that Frank is his AA sponsor.

He also displays an affinity for cocaine. Ponderosa also appears in the Season 11 episode "Being Frank," where it is revealed that he and Frank have developed a friendship based on hard partying and other social activities, and Frank has nicknamed him "Pondy.

Ponderosa also makes a brief appearance in the season 12 episode "Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer," where in an interview he implies that he does not miss his dead sister and that Dennis "did us all a favor.

You ever seen a grown woman take a dump in a sandbox? She has a dead tooth that makes her breath "smell like she nibbled on little pieces of shit".

Dennis gets tired of Maureen fairly quickly and in "Dennis Gets Divorced" she hires the Lawyer as her divorce attorney, ending up in a total demolition of Dennis where he has to assume her tens of thousands of dollars in debt as well as pay her monthly alimony.

She later appears in "The High School Reunion" and reveals she's spending her alimony money on a diamond for her dead tooth.

Maureen eventually got her dead tooth removed, as well as getting a breast enhancement sometime between seasons 7 and 8.

She became engaged to Liam McPoyle but on the day of the wedding, upon seeing Maureen's new body, Dennis sleeps with her again. By Season 10 she has undergone a series of bizarre plastic surgeries into order to turn herself into a literal "cat lady" and in Season 11 she says in a courtroom that she wants to be referred to as just a "cat", period.

She dies in a Season 12 episode and Dennis is the prime suspect considering the aftermath of their divorce , until it's revealed neither he nor anyone else murdered her; she was trying to walk along the edge of a roof like a cat and fell off it, landing in an alley headfirst where she broke her neck and died.

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Actor , voice actor , screenwriter , television producer. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

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